End Of Me
by Lucigoosey The Lightbringer
Summary: He didn't know how to express how grateful he was for Michael's company, but as yet another rush of flames engulfed him, Adam figured he didn't need to, anyway. The guy was inside his head.


"It was a lot easier to keep his attention on me when he was actually _here_," Lucifer spat, pacing the length of the Cage and throwing rueful glances to the soul in the corner. Ever since he'd been expelled from Sam's body - via Castiel - the Devil had taken on a different form, one Adam and Michael didn't recognize, but one they had long gotten used to. Right then, the archangel was slumped backwards against the bars of the Cage, exhausted after yet another go-round with Lucifer - this time, a product of a fight between _Adam _and Lucifer (something that would affectionately go on to be known as Cage wrestling, but for the time being was just yet another one of Lucifer's ways to keep Adam focused on him, rather than the torture the Cage forced upon the poor human). Turning their head, Adam glanced over at the soul, frowning.

It had been a year, but it felt like longer. The warped sense of time had Adam on the edge of breaking, and even Michael didn't seem to be faring any better. Lucifer was the only one there that had any sense of familiarity - and of course he would - but that wasn't to say that he was calm. No, day by day, the Devil was spitting curses into the air, snarling under his breath about their Father and His stupid plans. Sometimes Michael would retort, retaliate. Sometimes he would sit there, and Adam could feel Lucifer's words wrapping around the archangel's brain himself, feeling them practically choking him while Michael fought daily to ignore the doubts.

And then there was the broken, bleeding soul in the corner. Looking at it sometimes, Adam felt like it was something he shouldn't be able to see. He felt uncomfortable looking at it, the way he'd feel looking at a vulnerable, shaking, shivering naked person. It didn't move, it didn't _do _anything, it just sat there in the corner, glowing, buzzing, trembling. A new scar appeared every day, like something was trying to shred it apart. Despite Lucifer's best attempts, and Michael's cautious healing, they all knew it was only a matter of time before it would just… shatter.

Michael retreated suddenly, pulling his Grace from around Adam's soul and leaving him feeling cold and unprotected. Still, despite this, he simply heaved himself away from the bars of the Cage, away from the fire flickering outside, brushing off some of the flames that had caught onto his jacket and taking a few steps toward Lucifer, who was still pacing. "Could you just…" His request died on his tongue before the Devil had even turned toward him, backtracking slightly. He tried not to be scared of Lucifer, he did, but his face was still the face of Adam's torturer. Even if it wasn't _Lucifer_, the Devil was still the one that haunted his nightmares at night. He knew it wasn't fair, considering all that Lucifer tried to do to keep him and Sam sane, to protect them all from the torture the Cage projected onto them, but he couldn't help it.

Whether Lucifer noticed his hesitation or not remained unseen, as he didn't react to it. He just spoke, nose wrinkling slightly toward the human as he growled, "go sit back down."

Well, now that he'd been told to do so, Adam didn't exactly want to. The young man grimaced at the Devil for a moment before simply veering around him, heading off toward the other side of the Cage. He couldn't keep back a wince when lightning struck down at him, though it bounced off of the bars and deflected off another way into the stormy darkness. Adam leaned his weight forward against the bars and stared out, his mouth twisting into a puzzled frown.

"Does this mean Sam's up there… soulless?" He asked Lucifer uncertainly after a few seconds, and the Devil turned toward him, sparing one last glance back at the shivering soul in the corner before finally deducing there was nothing left to do for it and moving to Adam's side instead. "Honestly, can his body even function without a soul?" Adam added before Lucifer could answer his previous question, the frown on his face growing more and more bewildered.

A moment of silence pondered his words, as Lucifer considered this, somewhat lost in his own thoughts and narrowing his eyes toward the darkness on the other side of the Cage. It was right there, but it was so far out of reach… Adam closed his eyes for a moment, reminding himself to just breathe, he had to get through this, he had to be strong. They would get out of here - he didn't know when and he didn't know how, but, they would get out and Michael would take Adam back to Heaven just like he'd promised he would, and Adam would see his mother again and everything would finally be as okay as it was before he'd been dragged into all of this.

Then he wouldn't be standing in a Cage debating whether or not the human body could function without a soul. It wasn't like they taught this in pre-med school.

Lucifer rested his head against the bars of the Cage, letting out a low, hissing sigh through his teeth and shaking his head. "If he is, he's probably better off," he responded bitterly. "He's not down here being tortured, so he should take what he gets. And if I were him, I wouldn't want that pathetic, writhing mess back anyway," he added, looking back toward the soul for a second. Adam's protests died on his tongue before they even began, glancing back a little, himself. Yeah, even he could understand that, if nothing else. He certainly wouldn't want something so scarred and broken inside of him, but at the same time, functioning without a soul…

It didn't seem… possible.

Adam looked down for a moment, flinching slightly once again when another crack of lightning shot down, causing the Cage to shudder and jerk, rocking with the heavy motion. It settled before the sky darkened again, but it did nothing to ease the ice spreading through Adam's veins, like a disease, like a cancer, just growing stronger and stronger by the second. Mouth trembling slightly, he wrapped his fingers around the bars lightly, flexing them slightly against the invisible barrier keeping him from being able to reach his arm out completely - lest, he assumed, any of them would be able to just reach on through and unlock the Cage themselves. He wondered if that was possible - but he brushed the thought off almost as soon as it had come. Of course it wasn't possible. He couldn't get his arm through the bars, anyway.

Lucifer mumbled something under his breath, something along the lines of, "swear, one of these days, if I ever get outta here again, I'm going to destroy them…" And Adam grimaced, turning his head away slightly and looking around the Cage. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry - and, to be honest, he wanted to be just as pissed off at his brothers as Lucifer seemed to be. But it had only been a year - god, it still felt like longer - maybe they were working on something.

Maybe they'd still come back for him. He thought back to how they had rushed into the room, even with Zachariah there; how Dean had helped him to his feet, telling him that he was family. Adam knew he might not have deserved it, given the things he'd said to them before, but he also hadn't known that the angels weren't exactly the good guys here. And now, here he stood in a Cage, still somewhat hanging onto the promise of whatever family he might have left - whatever family the Winchesters considered him to be - and praying that maybe they would come back for him, because Michael was rapidly losing hope and Lucifer simply didn't care. But there was the Winchesters, his brothers, and if blood meant anything to them - anything at all - just like they had always promised it did, then maybe, just maybe they'd come back to save him.

Something cold and bitter stirred in his chest, uncomfortable, from Michael's side - for a second, panic gripped both of them, and Michael's Grace retreated even further from around his soul. That was happening more and more; like their emotions would spill out onto each other every so often, like they were feeling things the other was feeling as if it were their own. There were still distinct differences, enough for them both to be able to pick apart who was feeling what, yet at the same time, the line between them was getting more and more blurry by the day. And then, sometimes, when they spoke, they had a hard time figuring out who had said what; when they moved, they had a hard time alternating control between them, as they both already seemed to be _in _control, moving not just alongside one another, but - _as _one another. Something wasn't right, and they both acknowledged this, but neither of them were brave enough to try and do anything about it. So they just kept their distance from each other and tried to ignore it.

Adam pulled his hands away from the bars, looking back at the soul. The Cage rumbled again, this time having nothing to do with the lightning coming from above, but Adam stiffened all the same. In many ways, this was worse; it was going to happen again. Lucifer pulled away from the Cage slowly, turning and taking a few steps towards him. Adam tried not to flinch as he approached, knowing he only had good intentions - he was the real one, but the fake one would be showing up soon, and it would either go after him, or it would go after…

The young man swallowed, looking toward the trembling, vulnerable soul in the corner. Then he looked back at Lucifer, who, eyes narrowed, blazing red, seemed to be getting ready for yet another one of his 'distraction' tactics. Adam raised a hand, stepping back, and pointed to the soul, causing the Devil to turn his head. "Just- make sure nothing happens to…"

Lucifer spared the soul a glance, mouth twisting slightly. With one last, affirming look toward Adam, though, he nodded and retreated back to the corner the soul was curled up in. Adam watched him, hands shaking slightly with anxiety, the anticipation of what was about to happen, violent images of blood and fire flickering through his mind. The sound of Lucifer's laughter echoed through the Cage, sharp and maniacal, but Adam kept his focus on the real one as the Devil knelt down beside the shivering soul, quietly enveloping it with one wing and placing a hand over the ruffled, burnt feathers, a grimace settling across his face, and shut his eyes. "You should start running," Lucifer said knowingly, watching the Cage begin to shift.

Adam knew he should, but he couldn't. His breathing hitched slightly when it finally began to unfold; Lucifer and Sam's soul faded away to darkness, and even the flames that began to rise up around Adam couldn't illuminate anything; He couldn't see the Cage, he couldn't see Lucifer, he couldn't see the soul. It was like he had been dropped straight into a pit of hellfire, nothing else around him. No ground under his feet, no walls surrounding him, no ceiling over his head. He curled in on himself for a moment, screwing his eyes shut tightly as the flames grew closer and closer, surrounded in a ring of fire. It lapped at his heels, rising higher and higher, dangerously close to his face - Lucifer's laughter was growing louder, and louder - he felt teeth sinking into his skin, felt the blood began to rise, felt the flames burning his skin away.

The young man bit his tongue and screamed, pressing a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound, only a short release of the excruciating pain he was feeling. He wondered how he could even survive this, how he wasn't _dead _by now, how the fire wasn't just eating him alive-

Michael's Grace buzzed around his soul, wrapping so tightly it was almost suffocating. It was an attempt to protect him, Adam knew, but it didn't do anything to stop the fire, or the feeling of teeth ripping into his burnt flesh, the flames licking at the wounds and making them sting even more than they should. His skin glowed golden when the fire strayed away, if only for a second, as if Michael was trying to heal him from the inside out. He felt the archangel's panic, his desperation, as if it were his own - hell, maybe it was. He couldn't tell the difference right then.

Hands gripped his wrists from behind, a sharp, cold blade sinking into his back, dragging slowly down his spine. Adam arched his back somewhat instinctively, another scream escaping him-

And then, suddenly, he was shoved down into darkness.

The archangel was pulling him down, with every last bit of his strength, digging his claws in and tugging. The young man fought at first, not knowing whether it was another product of the torture the Cage projected onto him or not, but he did know that he was still feeling the fire burning through his skin, the teeth, the blades, he could feel them carving at his burning flesh and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He couldn't ignore it - god knows he tried. Even when Michael had finally pushed him so far down that he couldn't see the fire anymore, he could still feel it. He could still feel the pain exploding through his body, he still screamed.

"I'm sorry- I'm sorry," Michael was gasping, his hands on the young man's shoulders now as Adam curled in on himself, fingernails digging into his palms and his teeth clenching so hard over his tongue that he could taste his own blood - not that he hadn't before. He was so used to the taste of his own blood now - hell, he had died choking on it - that it didn't even faze him. "Pay attention to me. _Me. _Look at me! _Hey!"_

Still choking back his screams, Adam shook his head and forced his fists to uncurl, gripping onto Michael's arms instead and digging his fingernails into the archangel's skin.

"It'll be over soon, I promise," Michael whispered, pulling him a little closer. Adam choked in a gasp, not sure if the pain curling in his chest was his own or Michael's, too tired to figure it out but too curious to let it go. He twisted in the archangel's grip, as if to escape, only to fall back into the embrace with nothing more than a quiet, choked whine, burying his face into Michael's shoulder and struggling to shake off the painful sensations that were surrounding him, blinding him, drowning him in his own agony. He was going to die in here, _he was going to die in Hell-_

"No." Michael's voice hitched, his own shaky breaths joining Adam's. "No. I won't let you…"

Adam gritted his teeth, nails digging deeper into the archangel's skin. The pain was only intensifying; the feeling of claws running down his body now, flaying his skin, shredding through him, crushing his bones, his ribs, his heart, his lungs - he couldn't breathe, he felt like each breath was just smoke and fire, burning his insides up. How was he supposed to survive this? How was he supposed to make it out of this alive? Would he even be able to be saved, if Sam and Dean did end up coming back for him - if they even could? He could feel the Cage burning at his soul, he could feel it twisting him and ripping apart every single _part _of him.

It was killing him. This was killing him. He was going to die - _again_ \- and for _what?_

"I'm so sorry." Michael's arms shook around him, his grip unsteady but unbreaking. Adam arched his back again, feeling his spine cracking in several different places now - great, the Cage was moving onto his bones, how lovely. He choked back yet another scream, but he couldn't keep back the choked, strangled sounds leaving his lips, halfway between sobs, whimpers and cries as he twisted in Michael's grip, more out of discomfort now than anything. He didn't know what to say to the archangel - the archangel who had dragged him into all of this in the first place, but the one that was sitting here with him now, holding him close, shaking along with him as if he was in pain just from watching the young man writhe in his own agony, trying to comfort him but still falling short.

Adam didn't resent him. He found it hard to do so, when the archangel was his only company in the Cage aside from Lucifer - and he found it even harder when Michael proved himself willing to just sit with him like this, knowing he couldn't do anything to help but still knowing that having him there would be better than having Adam go through this alone. He didn't know how to express how grateful he was for Michael's company, but as yet another rush of flames engulfed him, Adam figured he didn't need to, anyway. The guy was inside his head.


End file.
